I am grateful for my husband.

My husband has been there since the beginning. We crashed into one another during a time in our lives when we were both unsure of who we were and what our place was in the world. Even before we knew each other well, it was clear that he saw the best pieces of me in a way even I couldn't. It was evident from the start that we were both struggling to make sense of who we were, where we had come from, and how to forge our own path forward. Looking from the outside in, it had disaster written all over it. But we always trusted that God brought us together in a very intentional way, and so while there were many occasions where we doubted ourselves, we never doubted God or His plan for us. So, we forged ahead, and we were blessed to get to celebrate many victories, but we had many challenges too. Addiction was, by far, the greatest of those challenges and it was a family affair- no one emerged unscathed. There were many times I know we both wondered if we were going to make it, and during those times, the fear of the future was like a wet rag pressed to our faces. It was smothering, horrifying and all-encompassing. In retrospect, I know we both experienced a lot of fear when we would consider the days to come. But I believe we survived because we just refused to give up the day we were in. There were many weeks and years full of promise and happiness, but every time the addiction was roused from its slumber, the ferocity with which it emerged thrust us into separate corners. From his own place, while wrestling with disappointment, anger, and fear, when the dust would settle, my husband would crawl to my corner and help me up. It wasn't always gentle- he forced me to look at the destruction that lay around us. He pressed me into the wreckage with urgency- begging me to find a way to silence the beast that raged within my soul. All the while, when he looked at me, he saw something beautiful. And so, slowly but surely, I calmed that raging beast and a little at a time, together, we found a place for each broken piece of our lives and in so doing, we forged an abstract and glorious thing of beauty. Those years of our union were in stark contrast to what one hopes a happy marriage will be. It was heart-wrenching each time we saw the beautiful mural of our future severed by the blade of addiction. But we stayed the course. On the days where laughter and love were prevalent, we embraced them with gratitude. And on the days when the raging seas of addiction were violently tossing our boat about, we simply held on. Today, we understand why God brought us together. We know that God recognized that where one was weak, the other was strong. God knew that only together would we be able to keep our boat upright as we continue to navigate the unpredictable ebb and flow of life. My husband has loved me way past the point of it making sense. He has loved me when it would have been so much easier not to. He has loved me in the better and he has loved me through the worse. He has met me in my darkest place and he has loved me there. And I am forever grateful.

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.