I am grateful for a God that pursues us fiercely.

I have never had a hard time hearing the voice of God. Sometimes I hear it in the chaos. Sometimes I hear it in the silence. Sometimes I hear it in others. Sometimes I hear it in what I see, and sometimes I hear it in what I don't. But His voice is always there when I'm paying attention. Nonetheless, there have been many times where I have pretended not to hear. Time and again I have set my feet on a path He was urging me to avoid, and more than once I have opened doors I knew would lead to darkness. Again and again, I have relied on my own understanding and turned my back on God, but even in my deceit, He would not leave me. Even when I wanted His voice to stop calling my name, even when I denied Him over and over, He would not relent and still, He pursued me. Every day I heard Him call, and every day I turned up the noise in my life so I could pretend not to hear. Every day He reached out, and every day I ignored Him. Every day He softly spoke my name, and every day I rolled my eyes. As time passed, it became easier and easier for me to wallow in the lie that His voice didn't matter. Still, He never stopped calling. Even in my ugliest places, I could hear Him whisper to me in the dark. After I had pushed Him away over and over, I came face to face with the kingdom of devastation my will had built, and in that horrifying moment I wanted nothing more than to feel His peace again. I was desperate to fall into His reliable, loving embrace and I longed to listen to the voice that I knew would be the balm to soothe the wounds I had inflicted upon myself. I was desperate for Him to renew my spirit. I knew He would be justified to leave me in my puddle of despair, but He had promised that is not what He would do. And so, when I finally crashed to my knees, He gently brushed the tears from my face and helped me up. He gave me the strength to stand on my own two feet, to breathe in and out, and to start again. He granted me the courage to clean up the wreckage of my past, a day at a time, and carve a new beginning for myself. And when I shamefully looked into His face, instead of seeing disappointment or disgust, He only smiled- grateful to be reunited with His wayward child. Even when I was denying His presence, there was no denying the truth of who He is. He is the same today, tomorrow, and forever. He never stops reaching for His children that go astray, no matter how we disappoint Him. My God is not a God who passively hopes or flippantly calls. He is a God that pursues with the ferocity of a lion. He will chase. He will persist. He will persevere. And when I am willing to listen there is no denying where my deliverance can be found.