I am Grateful for the Chrysalis

My amazing mom shared the most beautiful poem with me recently. It touched on the idea that so often the ugliest things in our lives are the very things that open the door to the transformative power of change. Just as the cocoon becomes the vessel for beauty to emerge, so is the hardship in our lives. The poem, by Ullie-Kaye, alluded to the difference between beauty and prettiness and as I read, I found myself contemplating the two words and I asked myself, “What does emerge from the cocoon after the life-altering change that transpires within? Does the transformation result in prettiness or is it beauty, and what is the difference between the two?” Although the words often seem to be used interchangeably, I began to ponder how, in effect, they do not mean the same thing at all. We live in a culture that places a great deal of value on appearance. Particularly physical appearance. How we look on the outside, or, if you will, how pretty someone is, is often the measure our culture uses to determine our value. While there are certainly ways to manipulate the way we appear to the world, by in large, I would say a lot of what defines whether or not someone is pretty is out of our control. Some people are simply born with the physical attributes that our society labels pretty while others are not. And, of course, youth, by nature, offers easier access to prettiness than its counterpart. On the contrary, however, beauty is not something that simply falls upon us- it is something we earn. It’s something we earn as we navigate the difficult seasons of our lives. It’s the strength we find as we learn to boldly show the world who we are without apology. It’s the humility we find as we learn to stand tall in the face of our mistakes. It’s the grace we find as we are reminded that God loves all of His children- even the ones we find difficult. It’s the wisdom that we drape upon our shoulders as we recognize that our value lies not in how the world responds to us, but, rather, how we respond to it. In my experience, prettiness is often like a room of mirrors. If we focus on it too much, we can get caught chasing image after image until we are no longer sure if what we are seeing is real or a stifling, fragmented remnant of who we truly are. In the most extraordinary flip of the coin, however, beauty is on full display not when we are parading perfection, but when we humbly display our imperfections in all of their splendor without shame. In that moment, we cease competing, we cease fighting and we lay down the sharp edges of our insecurities as we pick up the gift of belonging. We stop trying to prove ourselves and instead we put out our hands in a posture of humility and reveal to the world the hidden, dark caverns of our souls. It is here, in this place of staggering honesty, where we allow the light to chase away the undeniable shadows that lurk within us and our beauty unfurls its glorious wings as we rise above the ashes.

Her best comeback story ever

wasn’t loud but it was powerful.

It wasn’t out of revenge, but it was authentic.

It wasn’t bold but it was quiet persistence.

One day. One step. One choice at a time.

It wasn’t smiling through it all, it was tears

and failure and getting back up on the days

where she didn’t think that she could.

It wasn’t just personal, it was spiritual.

It wasn’t self-centered, it was Divinely driven.

It wasn’t easy, it was admitting that it was

probably the hardest thing she had ever done.

It wasn’t pretty- but it was beautiful.

-ullie-kaye